Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Creativity and individualism give way to matching in Oscars fashion

Celebrity sobriety has become a big thing lately-with Em, Tiger, and even Charlie Sheen supposedly getting clean-so drug users were pretty excited when James Franco bucked the trend and showed up to host the Oscars with pupils the size of quarters*. Others were not quite as enthused, calling it appalling that the host of such a prestigious event was under the influenced of drugs. Who cares, 90 percent of the guests were too, right? Whatever the case, I think everyone can agree that it's even more appalling for small children to get high. Unfortunately, that's what seems to have happened just before the filming of this video, after the jump.

True, the tots are probably sober, but why would parents let children with absolutely no musical talent perform at one of America's most widely televised events? The singing's alright, I guess, but do you see how much they smash into while attempting to "sway?" Swaying is one of the most basic things a person can do. The entire Notre Dame student section does it at the end of every football game, and they can barely stand the rest of the time.

But matching is what we're all about here, and this video is full of it. The kids may suck at swaying, but killed the color coordination. Once the end of the song saves us from further auditory waterboarding, matching dudes rush the stage in some fancy outfits. One question: why do chicks get to show off their flyest dresses for formal occasions, but gents have to wear the classic black tie getup? I'll tell you why: it's matching dude-ism at it's finest.

*Ed. note: Mr. Franco has apparently clarified that he was not high, nor has he ever been.  Everyone believes him.

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