Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Matching leads to mistaken identity

In this 30 second spot, a woman feeds McDonalds oatmeal (which sounds gross) to the wrong guy because he's wearing the exact same outfit as her husband.  Honest mistake, but why is her real husband also clothed like a middle-aged father of two who drives a Town & Country into the accounting office from New Jersey every morning?  These guys wouldn't have matched if the husband dressed his age, and she wouldn't have let a stranger lick her spoon.  I'm just waiting for a condom commercial in which a chick accidentally sleeps with a dude who was dressed like her man and doesn't realize it till halfway through.  "Trojan: Because it might not be your boyfriend."

Repressed memories

You may recall the public awareness campaign we launched to stop the widespread parental oppression of little matching dudes.  The idea for Little Matching Dude Awareness Month was conceived by our very own Scoops, and now we know why: he himself was subjected to this torture as a child.  This is a picture of him with his award-winning ballet team, circa 2003.  We hear he received an individual trophy for doing the best grand plié in the third position.
Back row, third from right

The White Trash Bash

I was at the Indy 500 this weekend, and I hoped to come back with some hilarious pics, but life had other plans for me.  Double vision makes every person look like a pair of matching dudes, and I just wasn't up to the task of snapping photos/standing up.  The general lack of shirts at the event really kills the number of matching photo ops, but thankfully our friends scattered around the internet have made some funny ones available.
Typical-looking fans, matching shorts
This is why band people have to date each other
The only jeans not cut off slightly below the knee
 See more Indy 500 pics, after the jump.

Monday, May 30, 2011

The Red Vest is Finally Put to Rest

I don't give a shit about Tressel or OSU, but at least his resignation gives me an excuse to post this pic.

Happy Memorial Day

On this national holiday, join us for a minute in remembering those who have bravely donned American uniforms in wars past.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Justin Bieber Wants His Hair Back

Quick word of advice - if you find that people often question your sexually, please do not get caught matching a dude with the same problem.

While their shirts do not match to the T, these pretty boys get together every Friday afternoon for a matching beauty routine that only rivals the manly upkeep of a former matchee. First, they hit Tanfastic Tans. Next, its off to Little Korea for a nice mani/pedi treatment, and don't forget the eyebrow waxing. The boys then grab greek salads and head home to freshen up, which means dabbing on some blush for the dude on the right. The night promises to be full of dudes, tight costumes, and male-on-male contact - and I'm talking high school wrestling.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Taylor Swift and Natalie Portman: matching sounds

I've always been conflicted about whether or not I like Taylor Swift's music.  On the one hand, she has a really sexy voice and catchy songs.  On the other, her lyrics reflect the romantic depth of a Disney plotline.  Until she dropped "Back to December," pretty much every song consisted of 1. Today Prince Charming picked me up on the back of his horse or 2. I'm too scared to tell you that I love you, so I'll just be your best friend while you date the popular girl.  I'm not trying to imply that I'm an emotionally mature guy; quite the contrary, just ask any chick I've ever interacted with.  I'm just saying that Taylor Swift's lyrics are childish and send the wrong message about love to her young fans.  Which made her foray into the rap game all the more interesting:

Despite being 19 when she and T-Pain released this song at the CMT awards, Taylor brags about living with her parents and not going to clubs.  Weird.  Anyway, when I first heard the song, the only thing I could think of was Natalie Portman's rap on SNL from three years before.

Compare Taylor Swift and Natalie Portman as rappers, after the jump.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Polos. Fresh, yet quite dangerous.

The black polo. Respectable in the collegiate community. Worn by many. But when you arrive at the party and Johnny Bravo (right) rolls up wearing the same black polo, you're toast. The fella on the left made sure that everyone knew that he was wearing Polo and not some lame knock off that his mom picked up at the neighborhood Kohls. That would be super embarrassing. Props to my boy Luch for shooting this gem my way.

Have another shirt

Not again!  Just days ago we ridiculed Bum Fluff for matching a dude, and then an anonymous tipster sends us this photo.  This one's no accident, either.  It looks like Bum Fluff has decided to live a life of matching and letting older gents buy him Sex on the Beach drinks at jazz clubs.  If it's gonna lead to awful life decisions like the one pictured above, I don't think either matching dude needs to have another beer.  They're already all tangled up in the back booth at what appears to be a bar for kindergarteners who just learned to doodle.  I don't think I need to explain why it's wrong to give beer to six year olds.  If you don't understand, you may be destined for a life matching this crew:

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Doof and Doofer

Bum Fluff, how dare you! One of our own is a matching dude. Last time I saw him he was sporting all denim and a rat tail. I can't tell if the guy on the right is pissed about matching or if he is sad that his 3rd matching counterpart across the bar missed the picture. With his shaky hands, the space cadet on the left has more trouble eating a bowl of soup then Muhammad Ali. I'm surprised he got it together to flick off the camera. Do i spot matching bracelets? Pink matching bracelets? Sheesh. It's not pictured, but these swans have matching lockets around their necks too. Although these two match, I give props to the guy on the right for wearing the shirt before the shirt. Side note: I'm really getting into Muenster cheese.

Matching Gone Global

While I was downing some wine on the beach in Cinque Terre, Italy, I spotted these two broads. This isn't the first time we've encountered grannys matching. Apparently, seniors are getting tired of bingo and testing out new hobbies like:

Cat Hoarding

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Give Bruce Pearl his Shorts Back

It's not everyday that you see a Cuban and 1970s porn star matching in business casual beachwear. If you're wondering, the dude on the left is in fact a leg-shaver. He uses Nair for Men because, according to him, "It's a scarless shave!" Due to his dumb drunken smurk, I'm going to guess that he woke up next to a swamp donkey. Hopefully, he was able to answer that troll's riddle and avoid morning sex. On a separate note, yes, that ass clown all the way to the right has half a beard.

Classic matching dudes: the 10 best NBA jerseys throughout history

A sports uniform offers one of the only imaginable excuses for being a matching dude.  As the NBA playoffs really heat up, it seems appropriate to honor some of the greatest jerseys donned by professional basketball teams.  This is just one interpretation; please don't be upset if your team gets snubbed.  Yeah, it was cool that Dennis Johnson led the Sonics to the 1979 title, but Seattle just doesn't rock the coolest threads.  Maybe it's all the rain, or the anachronistic hippie culture.  Anyways, here are ten(ish) jerseys that made dudes proud to be matching, after the jump.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Cross Country sucks

Let's be honest, if you ran cross country in high school, you had no friends. At least the "cool" cross country kids got pissed at their moms for taking pictures.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Is The Lonely Island part of a massive matching dudes conspiracy?

I don't like secret plots.  Dan Brown books freak me out, the Freemasons scare me, and I couldn't sleep for two days after I watched Loose Change.  Sadly, I think I just discovered a new one: there is a treacherous confederacy of matching dudes seeking to change the world, and like Scientology, they're winning celebrity converts.  One of their most influential?  The Lonely Island.  Yes, the hilarious hip-hop comedy troupe behind "Jizz in my Pants" and "I'm on a Boat" is scheming against freedom and individuality everywhere.  They're not subtle either; in almost every photo shoot, they wear the same stuff.  Weird.
Check out more photographic evidence, and some videos, after the jump.  It's frightening stuff.

Once again, let's hope the Heat lose

After betraying the Cavs, who will lebron betray next?


Go Bulls.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Twins, Matching, and you ran Cross Country?

I had to room with the one on the left while in London. Let's just say I slept out a lot.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Let's hope the Heat lose

In the spirit of the playoffs, I would like to show you the match that comes to my mind every time I'm forced to watch the Heat play.

Chris "I'm Overrated" Bosh = Avatar

Man's best friend, matching style

Twins are about as close as nature gets to matching dudes, so you'd think they'd try to distinguish themselves as unique individuals.  But I knew these two guys in middle school whose mom would pick them the same outfits every morning.  Talk about oppression of little matching dudes.  The guys in this picture aren't wearing the EXACT same shirt, but it's pretty damn close.  And they're standing in the same pose, holding nearly identical dogs. 
The patterns on their shirts have creepy, almost optical illusion-like effects that really draw you in.  Wait, so that wasn't a Listerine breath strip, bro?

Still wearing jorts

We feature a lot of pictures of dudes in matching shirts, even if the pants aren't exactly the same, because matching shirts are embarrassing enough.  The dudes in this snapshot have the opposite situation, wearing matching "pants," but not shirts.  It would probably be embarrassing even if they weren't matching.
Don't they know that girl pants are for hipsters?
After the jump, check out a link to a funny website that one of our users made us.  It's slightly inappropriate, so we're keeping it off the main page.

I was just about to graduate, until I was caught matching a dude in the hall

A pair of our followers from a high school just outside of Philly found themselves matching the other day. They look pissed about it, and with reason, because these matching dudes are both sporting Holy Ghost Prep polos. Nice school spirit boys, didn't your Catholic upbringing teach you anything? After all, the 11th commandment is thou shall not match a dude, unless there's a "sure thing" somewhere in the equation. Let's just hope these boy scouts are both on the school's golf team and had no say in purchasing their shirts.

This is awesome

There's nothing like waking up half-naked in the cat food isle at Wal Mart. As you're being escorted out, you attempt to piece together the puzzle of last night. You begin to realize it hurts to walk. Then you remember being persuaded into getting a 6"x4" ass-tat of your buddy's face last night. Priceless.

This is hilarious. Props to this guy for taking matching dudes to the next level. We salute you, and keep up the good work.

Jello Eggs

are delicious.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Can't stop won't stop

Not satisfied to match in the privacy of their dorm rooms, these matching dudes press onward to an undisclosed location.  Kinda funny-note that the guy nearest the cameraperson showed up in the wrong shirt.  Like Robert Hanssen, or John Walker Lindh.

Too bad we can't find more turncoats who look like Anna Chapman. 
I would match a dude for your love, babe.

Follow us on Twitter

Friendly fans, we just created a Twitter account to give you better access to the goings on at matchingdudes.  Click on the "Follow Us" button on the right side of the page to get instant updates about site news, funny new pics, and random musings about postcolonial global feminism.   Here's the link to our page: http://twitter.com/#!/matchingdudes.   #checkoutthesematchingdudes

Here's a winner

Finals week sucks. I should be studying but I couldn't let this one slip my mind:

After several winks and a handful of lewd jokes, Santa convinced them they'd be on the naughty list if they didn't slip into this attire.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Progression of a party

Formals are prime spots for matching dudes because the dress code really restricts your options.  Matching takes various forms and evolves as the night goes on.

 9:47 PM.  Two girls show up to the pregame in the same dress.  They are friends, and clearly thought it just be so "precious."  They are obviously proud of their "accomplishment."

10:20 PM.  Two dudes realize they are matching.  They are embarrassed, but still politely smile for the camera.  Angry that their thunder has been stolen, the matching girls insinuate themselves into the photograph.
10:22 PM.  The matching dudes relent and let the matching girls into the frame.  Isn't it funny that these chicks probably spent weeks picking out the perfect matching outfits, and the dudes are still almost equally as matching, completely by accident?  I guess this is the only good thing about matching: when it happens, you have a pretty easy in with the ladies.  "Hey, whadda you know, my bro and I are matching, you and your friend are matching, we should, like, totally get pizza or, uh, hang out sometime...or whatever."

10:23 PM-3:02 AM.  We have no photographic evidence of this period of time.

3:03 AM.  Two dudes, who are not matching, pass out in matching poses.  Everyone else feels uncomfortable.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

What's going on here?

Due to this week's lack of matching dudes, I decided to pull this gem out of our funbag:

Exactly. Little bobby is shirtless playing the guitar, mom and granny are dancing, and dad decided to pull down his pants again after having too many. Grandpa (not pictured) is shooting up in the bathroom. So matching dude fans, what do you think is going on here? Comments welcome.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

We got him!

Congratulations, boys.  One of the most despicable human beings in history, Osama bin Laden, is officially dead.  And you know, we have our favorite matching dudes (and women) to thank.  Damn proud to be an American.

Comic-Con 2011

Nerds love matching because it usually implies a convention of some sort, be it star trek or dungeons and dragons. Nerds exist covertly within the fabric of society, often choosing to 'nerd it up' in private or in the company of fellow nerds. Not to be mistaken for Geeks, who aspire to become nerds, yet lack the intelligence and end up giving nerds a bad name due to their poor social skills. Is that Zydrunas Ilgauskas' brother back left?