Monday, June 20, 2011

Brokeback matching dudes

Antcomic.com captioned this photo by saying that the dudes "look like they belong to some weird, middle aged man’s sex club."  I don't have much experience with such organizations, but while they probably use a lot of leather, I doubt many of them feature this much clothing.  These guys are actually members of the band "Grupo Pesado," though, which translates to "Heavy Group."  So anything's possible.

Don't stand so close to me

At first glance, it seems like these matching dudes are standing at the urinals.  Rule number one of pissing next to a dude is to get in and get out as quickly as possible without looking at anything, kind of like the rule for having sex with an ugly girl.  Upon closer examination, I think they're just chilling in a non-bathroom, but it still looks like the dude in the yellow hat is scoping his bro's junk. 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Matching Douches

Even with a receding hairline and 1/2 inch of hair, pudge on the left still managed to get some hair gel in. His head looks like it belongs on a pool table. As for Brock here on the right, he waxed his chest to make sure he gets the best looking 15 year old girl out there. Happy Spring Break, douches. Thanks to www.dudeswearingwhitesunglasses.com for this pic.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Here's to Budweiser and Dunkin' Donuts

Not Labatt Blue and Tim Horton's.  It's always nice to see a team from the good ol' US of A beat the Canadians at their own game, especially when the MVP is an actual American.  Even if the winning team features that dumb lurp Zdeno Chara.  I'm not much for Boston sports these days, but I like horse cops and the French language even less.  Question of the day: do Canadian women shave their body hair?
The 2011 Bruins, matching their way to victory

Silly Canadians

Is Godzilla on the Plane?

Herrrrrroo somebody prease help! Our prane is crashing! Why didn't I just take my honda civic!

I'm surprised this bitch isn't throwing up the peace sign. By the way, why the fuck are there so many Asians on this plane? Must be an anime convention somewhere.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Halloween for the socially inept

We often make fun of random nerds on this site by saying that they belong at Comic Con.  Here are some pictures of actual Comic Con attendees matching each other, and one of Megan Fox displaying both her massive thumbs.  FYI, the next show is July 21-24 in San Diego.  It might be the ideal spot to point out minor plot inconsistencies in Friday's big release, The Green Lantern.  They say there's someone for everyone, and if you know that kind of stuff, your "someone" is probably not at the local bar.  They only leave their apartment to go to the comic book store and bark at passersby.
Honestly, who would dump whom?
Divorce in three, therapy for kids in fifteen
Hey
Better hope she's not into butt play

Fat guy in a matching dude

Look at his jug of juice. it looks rather small, right? Watch out for our new website in the works: Fatpeoplemakingregularobjectslooksmall.com

Matching Du....what?!?

What is that? Is that a dude or a chick? or a heshe? or dudeguy? Whatever it is it's matching. For the meantime, ill go back to listening to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night." Why do you ask? Because Katy Perry is the tits. 'Nuff said.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Kiss them, they're Irish

The Chive recently presented this photo gallery of hot Irish women, and I couldn't help but notice that these dimes were very much matching girls.  I love Irish chicks (cliché, I know), so I had to pass the picture along in case you've been stuck in Saskatchewan and haven't seen many cute girls this summer.  Ladies, if you're thinking about making a submission to our lovely little site, this kind of stuff is exactly what we're looking for.  Or maybe some bikini pics for those guys up in Canada.  They probably don't have beaches there.

Time to fall off the bandwagon

A while ago, we posted a feature on the best classic NBA jerseys.  I was going to keep the series going, like by examining the worst jerseys of the past decade, but then I got drunk and forgot.  Had I remained sober and allowed the creative juices to flow uninhibited, this uniform would have topped the list:
It's not that the Heat jersey is horrifically ugly or poorly fitted, but since Bosh and James joined the party it's come to symbolize all that's wrong with professional sports these days-greed, selfishness, backroom collaboration, slutty moms-wait, I like those.  Anyways, congrats to the Mavs for helping LeBron prove that he'll never be greater than Jordan.  Maybe Rashard Lewis did bang his girl.  Hopefully Dirk will too.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Four score and seven matches ago

One of our readers is a closet art connoisseur and sent us this photo of a painting he saw at a gallery.  Of course, he was at the Rijksmuseum, which is located in Amsterdam, so he may have been "appreciating" the colors and contrasts a little more than most.  His state of mind may also explain why he glossed over the common museum rule prohibiting photographs.  Thanks bud, we're probably committing some huge copyright infringement just posting this.  Totally worth the lawsuit, though-I love how Verne Troyer on the right is brandishing his cane aggressively at Alien Lady for forcing him and Old School Danny McBride to sport matching duds in the family portrait.  Why doesn't she have to wear an ugly brown frock?  I don't know, but Mini Me looks like he's about to make that bitch pay.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I just threw up in my mouth

It's pretty bad when moms make their kids dress the same.  It's even worse when they drag their husbands into the equation.  Nobody likes a matching couple, not even the couple itself.  Other people hate it because it's creepy, blurs gender lines, and probably smells like two people who use the same shampoo.  The couple obviously does not like itself, and that's why its two members are matching-to mask their relationship insecurities with a show of perfect apparel harmony.  This is a shot from a How I Met Your Mother scene in which Lily and Marshall wear matching track suits.  Spoiler alert: God spites them by making them temporarily infertile.  To me, that sounds like an excuse to stop using condoms; to married people, it apparently means failure.  If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: don't match your spouse.  It's worse than tight underwear for babymaking, and God hates it more than children in Chernobyl.
"Barney's Favorite Things" made of velour

Monday, June 6, 2011

Don't wear cargo shorts at your own wedding...

This is a really weird wedding.  Most people are dressed like they're going bowling, or perhaps enjoying forties of Bud Heavy on the beach in Daytona.  The groomsmen are matching as per tradition, but here they're rocking khaki shorts and orange button downs.  Maybe the classiest people in the whole video.  Really makes you think-if that guy can meet his future wife at a Hooters, maybe I could find "the one" walking on a street corner in a mini skirt or at a Methadone clinic.  Fingers crossed.



Thanks to BroBible for the link.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Take a gander at these matching dudes




Looks like Dale over here shanked his tee shot on the 14th. Little did he know he'd run into some matching dudes. Luckily, the only time a pink polo is acceptable is when it's worn to avoid a match. Just like Dale, I'd much rather take in a bunch of radiation than match some dudes. And for that, we thank you Dale.

Asians strike back



They must be at Disneyland.